


Get Bucky

by AnnabelleRowan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, James Bond - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Funny, Gen, Happy, I don't know how to write either of those I tried I'm sorry, I'm kidding, M/M, Q's real name makes an appearance, also - Viva La Pluto, also cause they were in London, be happy there's no Harry Potter, just to prove a point, starspangledexchange, yes there is a James Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1880190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabelleRowan/pseuds/AnnabelleRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is lame. Natasha is perfect. When Steve is not frozen in place  (which is a bad, bad pun), he behaves like a mother hen. James Bond makes an appearance because why not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Bucky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [takethatina](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=takethatina).



> Happy 4th of July Lor (takethatina.tumblr.com)!:)

He’s wearing a white tuxedo over a white shirt , black pants, a bow tie and leather gloves. It’s summer. His hair falls free, shorter than it was last time they saw each other, but still longer than from when they knew each other, and it’s so painfully obvious he’s not a waiter that Steve wonders if all of his previous missions had failed miserably and Soviets had just kept paying everyone to say how great The Winter Soldier was until they went bankrupt. Maybe that’s the sole reason why they lost the Cold War.

“I’m turning into Tony.” he says to himself with a resigned sigh.

“What?” Natasha asks in his ear.

She’s across the room, a spectacular dress literally shining on her with real diamonds sewn into black silk.

“Nothing, um, I’ve spotted him. 9 o’clock, he’s pretending to be a waiter."

Natasha turns, reflecting light in all directions.

Who had the idea to put a spy in a dress like that? Oh yes, Tony again, Steve thinks to himself.

“Well I get why you said pretending.” comes from Natasha.

It’s the third time their and Bucky’s (Tasha calls him James, but it just sounds wrong to Steve) mission overlapped. Well, their mission and Bucky’s.. revenge plan?

They are cleaning up Hydra’s mess and Hydra itself, or well, trying to clean it up because it seems bastards live up to their motto – kill one and two will come on its place.

They all spent the summer following the Hydra debacle on their own -

Thor in a search of an apartment that would not totally break apart from what he called quiet living (he was disappointed when he heard you couldn't actually keep horses in apartment buildings, and looked so sad until Tony finally took pity on him and revealed he had designed a floor specially for each of them in Stark, now better known as the Avengers Tower –

that’s apparently what he had done with his summer. Tony promised to add stables to Thor’s floor. It was supposed to be a Christmas present and they all had to say yes to moving in.

Bruce went on his usual Doctors Without Borders tour around the world, and Clint went rock climbing in the Rockies (they made Sam ask him, one night when they were all pretty drunk, if he’d climbed on top of the mountain, made himself a nice nest and just spent the rest of the summer there.)

Tasha disappeared and came back with regained self-esteem and a new identity – nobody dared to ask too much and they all admired her new hair style.

Sam and Tony looked for Bucky all around the globe, came home empty-handed but with an unsettling number of inside jokes, and when Fury came back from Europe with new information and orders, it was already September, and just like that they found themselves back in school.

The first time they stumbled upon Bucky in one of the cleanup missions, Steve froze like the first time they met after the ice. Bad guys started shooting, Tasha covered for him, and in the chaos of the fight they lost him again.  
But not before they managed to set an elephant, a giraffe, a zebra and, even though no one remembers fighting even near their cage - four penguins free from the New York’s ZOO. Fury laughed. Well, actually he moved his eyebrow differently, but it was close. Damn Hydra guys had bases in weird places.

Second time it happened they were prepared. They were going after some Hydra top guys, this time located in a proper villainous hiding place - a massive mansion in Italian Alps, and they knew Bucky would probably be there too. Problem was, they were excepting the Winter Soldier, a deadly ghost assassin with Red Room training, and while Bucky sure still was that, he apparently was also becoming his old James Bucky Barnes self again.

The Quinjet left them half an hour from a mansion and they were approaching it by foot when half of the mountain just fell off and buried the mansion and its evil residents under tons of ice and stone.  
“It’s not his usual quiet MO, but it’s effective enough.” Tasha said trying not to laugh, her breath swirling in front of her face in form of a cloud. Nobody responded, Steve actually forming a voiceless ‘o’ with his mouth, others still frozen in place because of the sudden avalanche.

“Seeing that he did our job for us we might as well do some sight-seeing, I hear this part of Italy is beautiful at this time of the year.” she continued, turning around to face the group.

“Is your new identity a tourist guide?” Sam asked under his breath and received a snowball to his face at the same moment, when, probably unplanned, another explosion happened and a smaller avalanche raced down the mountain, taking four big power poles with it, leaving the town Natasha just mentioned in total darkness.

Sam asked who had turned off the lights while Tasha shook with laughter and Steve still just stood there completely shocked.

“So no sight-seeing after all.” Clint deadpanned.

Finally, this time it was an operation with roles, masks, fake names and fancy dresses. Steve was more than a bit lost. Spies were good at it - Tasha looked like she put on a different skin along with that shiny dress and for the whole wide world she was Nataly Roff, rich heiress of the Roff dynasty. But Steve was a soldier, he walked in with guns blazing, punched a dozen of bad guys and took or destroyed whatever they were there for, end of story. His weapon of choice was a shield for God’s sake, not something small and easy to hide like Tasha’s guns strapped to her thigh and deadly bracelets on both of her wrists.

But a mission was a mission, and here he is, playing a bodyguard, creeping from the shadows. Clint was supposed to be “Nataly’s” date for the evening, but for all Steve knew he was probably dangling from a chandelier somewhere by now.

Tony wasn’t there - he dressed them up and gave them equipment, but then stormed off into his lab, pulling Bruce with him. Fury just shook his head and briefed them – Von Stelymes, some big shoot Hydra leader had crawled from the hole he’d been hiding in and had accepted an invitation for a gala dinner in London – which explained fancy suits – and they needed to extract him and bring him in for questioning – which explained the lack of heavy weapons.

He didn’t say anything about Bucky, but they all knew the drill – if you can, bring him in, if not - eliminate him. Too much of a threat. Although that last one lost its weight after the scary Soviet ghost assassin dropped half of the mountain on Hydra’s head and then accidently left the whole town without electricity.

“Do you think he noticed us?” Steve whispers.

“I think he’s so focused on carrying that plate and not looking where he’s going that he’ll trip and drop everything in three..two..”

There is a loud crash on the other end of the room and over the radio Steve hears Tasha mumbling apologies.

He hurries to her side just around time Bucky decides, his white “waiter” tux dripping with champagne, that he’s had enough, produces a whole rifle from somewhere and points it at Von Stelymes.

“No you won’t.” Clint’s voice is heard on the intercom and Bucky’s hand, the one that wasn't holding a gun, flies to his neck. His eyes roll in the manner of bad horror movie possession scenes and he drops on the floor, managing, of course, to pull down with him the table on which the champagne fountain was.

People start screaming and Steve finally unfreezes from the place he didn’t even notice he froze in.

“Bucky! Bucky!”

“What did you do to him?” he screams, totally blowing their cover and discarding every protocol rule ever. He grabs Bucky by the lapels of his tux and puts his head in his lap, too scared to put his fingers on Bucky’s neck in order to check for pulse.

“Steve. Steve look at me – he’s okay, I only put him to sleep. Thankfully, I did the same to our target or Fury would kick your ass all the way back to the Pluto when you.. if you dared to come back.” Clint says on the intercom and then materializes next to Steve “And Pluto’s not even a planet anymore .”

“Pluto’s not a planet anymore?!” Steve looks even more horrified than he was for a second and then turns back to look at Bucky - still unconscious, still in his lap.

“Is he going to be okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. Sleep like a baby for three to five more hours and then wake up. Hopefully not ready to kill whoever put him to sleep.” Clint answers, his eyes widening in horror at the sudden realization.

“You are not telling him it was me, we clear?” he adds sharply.

“Aw, and here I was, thinking I was the only one who could scare you like that. I thought we had something special Clint.” Natasha says mockingly, and Steve’s quota for people materializing form thin air is full for the day.

She winks at Clint and crouches on the floor next to Steve.

“We need to get him out of here. Clint you take Von Stelymes and head for the extraction place.”

The luxurious ball room is mostly empty now and the few guests that are left are being escorted by the security.

“Ma’am.” a well-dressed gentleman with a gun in his hand approaches them without Steve noticing it. Apparently, universe has no respect for Steve quotas.

“I’m with the MI6. Do you need any help?” gentleman continues, eyes only for Natasha. Clint rolls his eyes.

“Bond?” Natasha looks up from her position on the floor and quickly rises to her feet. “How nice to see you again!” she adds with a smile. It’s a nice smile. Steve doesn't understand why MI6 guy’s face suddenly drains of color.

“Natalia?” he whispers and then quickly looks around.

“You two know each other?” Clint pipes in, his interest genuine.

Bond guy finally looks at them and his eyes widen in shock.

“Hawkeye? Captain America?” he manages until his eyes stop at the still unconscious Bucky in Steve’s lap.

“Q do you have a visual?” he says and the rest of the group exchanges looks.

“Yes, I know Black Widow from my days back in Russia. No, I can’t talk to you about it, that’s classified. Yes, even for you. Though I’m surprised you haven’t hacked the archives yet. Bloody great I just gave you the idea, didn’t I.” he continues, looking at what Steve supposes is a camera in one of the corners of the room, color slowly creeping back into his face. Bond sounds like he’s irritated, but he’s smiling. Steve wonders who this Q person is.

Bond shakes his head and focuses back on the group, his posture of confidence and elegance back once again.

“Hello Natalia, it’s good to see you too. I would call for champagne but it seems your handsome friend here decided to wash his suit in it already. Nice to meet the rest of you too, and now that I know just who you are I think it’s perfectly fine to leave the matter in your hands.” Bond turns as to leave, but then puts his hand on his ear and turns back to them again.

“Just one question before I leave, and you’ll have to excuse my Quartermaster’s curiosity here, he spends too much time on the internet – were you two dating before the war? And I’m only willing to ask this on his behalf because then we'd have the same names.” he says looking directly at Steve and then down at Bucky.

Steve is happy Bucky decided to take a champagne bath because if he was drinking something now he’s pretty sure he would've choked on it and died right there on the spot. The thought surely shows on his face because Bond grins, wishes them a “good day” and this time leaves for good.

“They have the same names?” Clint asks while putting unconscious Von Stelymes over his shoulder. “What was he talking about?”

“Well, you see, his name is also James, so I can only suppose Q’s name is Steve..” Natasha answers deep in thought and then looks at Steve.

“One would think he thought you how to kiss, Steve. Oh, or maybe he had had more practice by the time I met him.” She adds, her eyes gleaming.

“I’m not even going into this.” Clint proclaims and heads for the exit.

Steve is still frozen on the floor. He thinks his psychiatrist would call what he’s experiencing right now an existential crisis.

Bucky of course is the one to pull him out of it –

“Steve?” he whispers from his position in Steve’s lap. “Steve, what’s going on?”

Steve looks down at him and smiles.

“Don’t worry buddy. We've got you now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, I hope no one will sue me for the amount of references I put in this.  
> I'm sorry I cut it short, maybe when I find time I'll finish it properly. It was such fun to write it!  
> As always - my wonderful beta B - what's an agent without its handler <3


End file.
